Two Becomes One

10 Tips To Happy Dating

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

1.   Have Realistic Expectations

If you’re looking for perfection, you are likely going to be disappointed.  No one is perfect and, if they were, then they would be looking for another perfect person.  Don’t expect more from someone else than you expect from yourself.  Don’t expect a relationship to solve all of your problems and fulfill all of your hopes and dreams.  A realistic relationship has its ups and downs but, overall, makes you happier and your life more complete. 

2.   Be Aware of What is Going On

Be cognizant of what your date is feeling and thinking.  Be aware of what you are feeling and thinking.  How is this date going?  How is the relationship progressing?  Are you both happy?  Are you both having a good time?

 3.  Evaluate and Reevaluate

Pay attention to your date and your own reactions and feelings.  As you spend more and more time together, things will change.  Something that made you happy in the beginning of the relationship may not make you happy six months into the relationship and vice versa.  Reevaluate your relationship often to determine whether it is headed in the right direction.

 4.  Deal With Fear Head-On

Don’t let fear control you.  Face your fears and deal with those deep, dark secrets you keep about yourself and your past.  Maybe you are afraid of abandonment.  Maybe you are uncomfortable with sexuality because of a negative body image.  Deal with it so that it no longer controls you or your relationship.

5.   Be Specific

Often times, when people talk about the other sex, they either gush or are judgmental.  Neither reaction is a healthy one.  Look at the details.  Be specific about who you are, how you feel, where you think the relationship is headed.  Being specific is a great tool for problem-solving as well.

6.   Be Proactive in Your Relationships

Don’t sit by and wait for things to happen to you.  Take action!  Pick up the phone and call.  Suggest another date and suggest the location.  Don’t let someone else make all of the decisions for you.  This is your life…live it!

 7.  Take Responsibility for Yourself and Your Actions

Everyone makes mistakes.  Sometimes, we make mistakes because we are being thoughtless but, most often, we make mistakes because we are clueless…we just didn’t know.  Regardless of the reason for the mistake, own up to it.  When it is clear that you were wrong, take responsibility and apologize.

 8.  Write Things Down

The best way to keep track of your relationship, your feelings, and your date’s actions is to keep a log.  It doesn’t need to be anything fancy…just a hand-written list that helps you to organize your thoughts and evaluate your relationship.

 9.  Be Creative and Have Fun

Your relationship is original.  There is no other relationship exactly like it.  You and your significant other can make the most of your relationship and fashion it around each other and your lives the way you see fit.  Have the courage to have fun together and share who you really are.  Do things together that are exhilarating and exciting.  Live for the moment!

 10.  Do Not Settle for Second Best

Life is full of compromises and any healthy relationship will be based on a willingness to compromise.  However, do not confuse compromise with settling.  If something is really important to you, don’t settle.  Know who you are and what you want and go for it!

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