Two Becomes One

Breaking the Ice

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

As far as it goes, you’re pretty happy. You’ve managed to snag that first date, you’ve got the perfect outfit and you’ve chosen a great little spot that should work out just fine. However, as the date comes closer and closer, you begin to wonder just what you’re going to talk about with your new potential. There are many ways to initiate that first real conversation on a date, and most of which can really bring about a more fluid, easy communication as the time goes on.

Great Openers

Sometimes, a smile is really the best thing to start out with, but you can’t just sit there grinning at them through the whole date. Begin the conversation by asking them about their trip to wherever you are, or how their day has been, something simple. As you approach you might take notice of their clothing, their jewelery. If there is something you find a little different, you might just tilt your head a bit and ask. Nothing gets someone talking more than an interesting and eye catching piece- so, this is also a good idea to think on when getting ready. Do you have an unusual pendant or ring? Give it a shot. Something subtle but interesting is often a great way to get someone noticing and talking about something.

Commenting on your surroundings is always a good thing. Of course, the weather is usually the first thing people talk about, but you don’t want to stick to that. If there’s something sort of out of place or perhaps interesting around you, that’s also a very good place to begin your conversation.

What, Now?

Once the conversation begins to flow, remember, it’s a two way street. Ask engaging questions following observations, perhaps encourage them to open up to you also. Keeping things flowing is as simple as showing a keen interest in what they are saying, so if they do ask you something, answer, but also keep things open to continued back and forth. Being able to relate to one another can sometimes be as simple as knowing the right moment to nod, to ask another question, to laugh or to just continue on their line of thought. Ever see those sickeningly cute couples that seem to finish one another’s sentences, and have such ready, easy communication? It did not happen right away, but by practicing active listening skills and truly appreciating what the other has to say- that is how they got there. You can implement this on first dates or subsequent dates and that is the best way to see that a conversation becomes clear and open communication.

Being able to communicate well is an asset in all areas of your life, but none quite so pivotal as in dating. Once the conversation is going well for you there is no reason to feel awkward and pressured, and that enables you both to be better able to get to know one another.

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