Whether a man or a woman, ending a seriously bad relationship is essential to every happy, healthy and a content life and far better than crying all nights wetting pillows, waking up like a zombies every morning, going through your days like nothing mattered and etcetera. Small matters might easily be taken care of but there are some people who are not meant to be together and there’s nothing wrong with that! They’ll probably fit in perfectly with someone else. When things are only getting worse off and getting you nowhere, its best to mutually decide and end your days together on good terms. And in no time you’ll find it extremely easy to deal with. It might sound difficult, but it’s possible.

Sometimes you have to be fair with your own self and think using brains rather than love clutched hearts. Ask yourself whether he or she is treating you like you deserve to be treated and whether the excuses made by your partner for acting different than this are reasonable or not. This way you’ll start seeing the bad things that really are bad and will give you the strength needed to make your step.
Most importantly, start to learn not to be too dependent on your partner. Start giving time to yourself instead of him or her and see the others things in life. Whenever you start feeling soft hearted, remember all the bad things that happened in your relationship and thus so remain adamant on what you’re doing.

Stop believing in the old, brainless conventions that love comes your way only once. You have to start believing that there is someone out there for you and you certainly have your chances of being with the one who’s absolutely right for you.

Look at the happy couples around and make yourself realize what you’ve been missing till now. This inclines you towards ending what was bad for you, hoping to find your own right way. You don’t have to blame yourself for the end of your relationship and neither will you be a betrayer if you do it.

So all those out there who think they’ve been unfair with their previous lovers, get your guilt ridden self out of this culpability cocoon and be happy to have ended what was to be ended for good!

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When someone is older, they have more experiences in breakups, divorce and all the possible relationship horrors that are present. Moreover when going out with a younger man, you can even avoid talking about how your ex treated you badly, or how your custody case went. The simple fact is, that while an older woman dates a younger man, she can simply enjoy the uncomplicated present and enjoy it.

Another problem that women face when going out with a younger man, is the gossip that can easily spread like wildfire that you are dating a younger man. People would say that you are simply doing it to avoid any commitments or the most famous line “playing around”. But all these gossips can be simply ignored by thinking about this one line, “Who’s having fun?” If the answer to that question is you, then you can simply be oblivious to all those comments and enjoy your dating life.

A very common phenomenon is that when people get old, they tend to follow a routine and the select the same restaurant, stores and music every time. Younger men do not have such routine lives, and they become the best opportunity to break from the monotonous lifestyle. The young man would even introduce you to such new adventures and activities that you might have never known to exist. Hence, you need to come out of your comfort zone and let yourself go with the flow.

Another complication that might arise when going out with a younger man is the possibility of you earning more than your younger partner. But do not let this fact come between you and him as this is something that is bound to happen. You might most probably be on a long way down your career. Moreover, you also need to assure your partner that him being less economically successful would not and should not come between them and they should enjoy their love life to the full extent.

Brought to you by Two Becomes One. Visit Orlando Singles or Orlando Dating to Get Your FREE COPY of our Exclusive Ebook “Learn to Date… Meet Your Mate!”.

What Is Passive Aggressive Behavior?
Passive aggressive behavior is detrimental to any relationship in any form that it takes. However, expecting someone to just know what you’re trying to say- no matter how harmless you may think that it is, isn’t helpful and it won’t get you what you want. If you have not just out right said something, and are getting upset because your partner or interest has not picked up on your cues yet- you may be engaging in passive aggressive behavior without even realizing it.

So many people feel like it is up to the other person to understand and get their needs and wants. The problem here is that more often than not- this does not happen and the person who has been doing the hinting gets more and more upset as time goes on. As this happens, the person who was supposed to get the hint really has no idea why their partner is beginning to get more hurt and agitated and what was a small issue has now become a bigger problem.

There is a difference between hinting and being subtle- being subtle may not be passive aggressive behavior if it is in a positive vein- but if you have been flirting back and forth with someone for a while now, and they have not asked you out- getting frustrated by that is where it becomes passive aggressive. If you have been hinting at something for some time, and you start to get upset over the other person not responding- almost each and every time it is simply best to be up front and straight forward about what it is you are wanting.

For those on the receiving end of hinting- we have seen numerous examples where the person was anticipating the hinter to just open up and ask for what they wanted. Because of all of the hinting- they simply thought it was coming, or then began to wonder why it hadn’t- it’s hard to take someone seriously when they aren’t up front about things. Also, when the hints are all there but the question never comes- some just leave it to personality quirks, or assume that perhaps it isn’t an issue- this is particularly true when the hints come in the form of self deprecating humor.

You need to be confident in going after your wants and needs, no matter what phase of a relationship you are in with someone. This definitely means communicating effectively and openly- and leaving the hints to those who enjoy feeling upset and frustrated. Make sure that you are tactful and direct in your communication about what you want with those you care about- or those you are hoping to build something with. You may just find yourself to be much better off by doing this in the long run.

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The mental act of seeing your ideals in another person is called projection. Much like a movie projector cast the images from a film strip onto a screen so that you can no longer distinguish the screen itself, we project out desires onto the person we are infatuated with, obscuring important facets of who that person really is.

In a sense, this emotional illusion is wonderful. It allows us to feel the tingling excitement, the burning passion, the delicious ache of new romance. The tendency to project plays a major role in developing human relationships. For some, the projections are massive and sweeping, essentially reshaping the other person from the ground up. For others they are very minor and take the form more of glossing over faults rather than actually giving the other person characteristics that he or she doesn’t actually have.

Whether the projection of infatuation are great or small, one thing is absolutely certain beyond any doubt. Without fail, those projected characteristics will fade. Eventually the raging hormones dwindle and the deluges of dopamine and norepinephrine subside. It is then that we begin the transition from infatuation to true love, if that actually connection has been made.

Unfortunately, projection works both ways. There is a negative side. Most often, the negative aspect of projection is equal to the degree of positive projection that occurred during the infatuation phase. It starts with feelings of hurt, disappointment and, ultimately, resentment that the other person failed to live up to the unrealistic expectations that you placed on them. This, in and of itself, is enough to end many relationships.
If the relationship does endure, it enters into the stage of negative projection. You begin to project your own flaws, the faults in yourself that bother you the most, onto the other person. This phase can last much longer than the positive projection phase of infatuation does. In fact, some couple never move past this phase and continue it indefinitely.

However, in a truly healthy relationship both sides will eventually realize that those negative projections are not any more realistic than the ideal projections of the infatuation period. When we accept that we are projecting things we need to change in ourselves we can begin to grow personally and as a couple. It is then that we finally are able to see our now long-term partner as they truly are – a necessity for a loving, healthy relationship. This, then, is the true “look of love”.

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Should You Mind Your Upkeep?

Yes, you most certainly should. The level of which you do so is purely at your discretion, if you’ve not already had an intimate encounter with the person you’re preemptively grooming for. If you can run your fingers through it and it comes out the other side- it’s probably a little too shaggy for the shagging. Now you ladies out there might be nodding your head, but this goes for you, as well. Good grooming protocol can keep an intense, passionate night flowing whereas having what appears to be Chewbacca in a headlock down there can become a little awkward. Now, yes, there are some who prefer their lower locks long and flowing, and there is nothing at all wrong with that. However, if you do prefer to keep a longer lower mane, it may be advisable to broach the subject before the bedroom.

How To Keep It Neat

Basic upkeep and grooming requires no more than a few very careful snips of the scissors, really. You don’t have to go cue ball down there, if that is not something you prefer, on either gender. However, there are some who do prefer a smoothly groomed nether region and this gets a little tricky. You can go in and have it waxed and many really seem to sing the praises, but if you’re like most, you’ll attempt a shave, first.
Before you shave, trim. If you have clippers, this can sometimes really reduce your bathtub mess, and definitely makes this a great deal easier. Also, use a brand new razor- do not attempt this with the one you’ve been using, you will regret that. Hot, hot water, and soak yourself for about ten minutes until the follicles are nice and plump- then slather on your favorite shave gel. Going with the grain, slowly work your way around- sitting on the edge of the tub may help you to get some of those more hard to reach areas. And guys, pull and stretch. You know what we mean.

After you shave it is extremely ill advised to follow up with lotion or aftershave. Wait a few hours, and THEN slather on lotion, preferably unscented formula.  A side note- depilatory cream? Bad idea unless it’s made for that area.

In most cases, bare is really not needed, though. Simply keeping it trimmed and clean is usually the most that is ever needed and it is most certainly appreciated.

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Being Assertive

Generally speaking, assertive people are getting their needs met. Why? Because unlike the two following styles, they are confident in that they not only deserve to have those things, but they also have mastered the art of compromise. They express themselves plainly and without fear in a well thought out way that is neither offensive nor passive aggressive- assertive is definitely the way to be. An assertive person is a bit more in charge of their own life- not making excuses for the way that they are, or the needs that aren’t getting met. Calmly expressing themselves, an assertive person generally gets their needs met purely because they communicate clearly and well.

Submissive

A submissive personality is one we see more often than not. This is the person who may sigh, may go into the ’silent treatment’ or engage in passive aggressive behavior. What is passive aggressive behavior? It’s self limiting and defeating for one thing, for another, passive aggressive behavior takes many forms but generally at heart it is expecting someone to guess at your feelings based on indirect and usually negative signs and behaviors. If you’re hinting, doing the silent treatment, martyring yourself or throwing out guilt- you’re doing it and you’re doing it wrong. On the other hand, some people who are of the submissive mindset just let things go on until one day, they explode, emotionally. It is not a very healthy way to be.

Aggressive

An aggressive personality can sometimes lead to being a more abusive personality- again, this is a negative behavior pattern. Some people do not realize that there is a big difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Let’s look at an example:
An assertive person will say: “I feel a little bit lonely when you are going out every night without me. Is there some way we can compromise and both be happy here?”
An aggressive person will say: “If you go out without me again it is over and we are through!”
Which do you think is more effective? You may think that the threat works, but all that really does is begin to erode the trust of the relationship and create an environment of fear.

The key to successfully communicating your needs is being able to clearly state what’s wrong- how it impacts you and offer a better way of doing things in an open and rational way.

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