Two Becomes One

Dating if You Have Children – Life After Being A Parent

Posted on October 6, 2009 by Two Becomes One

As a single parent, you know that time to yourself is something that is a rare treat. Whether you are newly split, or you are a long time single parent, dating can be a difficult thing to manuever, while balancing the difficulties of parenting solo. Some of you may have an ex partner who is involved, some may not- either way, the balancing act can be tricky, but definitely worth while.

No To Kids, Not an Option?

Do not think that the person you are dating is going to meet your children and change their stance on children. It probably will not happen, and this can create a great deal of conflict. If they simply do not want children of their own, but are keen on dating you- make sure they are aware, yes, it is a package deal. This does not mean you have to discount anyone who says they don’t want kids in time- you just need to be very careful about getting your hopes set on something which may or may not happen.

Seeking A Parnter, Not A Parent

Though yes, looking at potential partners it is essential to consider how they would fit into your child or children’s lives- that should not be the first concern. Yes, be honest with your dates about the fact that you have kids, but initially, don’t sweat it. If you are looking at someone and really pushing their involvement with your children, you may intimidate them, and also, you could be potentially causing a disruption in your children’s lives when there need not be one.
Take your time, get to know this person as first, a date and romantic interest, and then, when you feel that the potential is shown, slowly introduce the kids. There is no need to rush, and this is a very important thing to remember.

This Is Jim/Jane

In the past, dating parents have referred to their dates by things such as “uncle” or “aunt”- well, those who have not been able to figure out a good way to introduce their children have, anyway. The best thing you can do is to be honest with your children, “this is my friend, so and so, and we’re seeing eachother”. Children are observant and they are usually a little more open to you dating than you may think. Especially if you are taking it slowly, they will usually warm to the other person and then, a healthier bond can form.

You want what is best for your children, but you also deserve to have happiness of your own, and yes, move on and find a partner. Being open and communicative, while taking things slow as you venture into the dating world can mean the difference between doing it in a healthy positive way, or perhaps running off potential partners by moving much too fast. With open communication, this is much less complex than it seems.

Check out Orlando Dating