Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One
At some point in many relationships one partner decides that it is really time to just call it quits. If you’re in a casual relationship, this should be a fairly painless process of saying it simply has run its course, but unfortunately, it rarely ever is. Sometimes, one person in the relationship has been building up expectations in their head- and that may be what trips your trigger into thinking it’s time to end it. It may be that you have begun to notice that your casual partner is getting a little less than casual lately and you don’t want to hurt anyone or lead anyone on, so you make the choice to simply end things. There are right things to do here, and there are wrong things to do here.
It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over
If you do not simply end things- that is straight out say that you are finished, then you are doing it wrong. There is no kind way to say that, but if you’ve been romantically involved with someone, no matter what the level of commitment is, and you suddenly stop calling- that’s not going to be the right way to go about it. Make sure that you are clear and to the point without being tactless here and simply cut the tie. First and formost, if you are ending it, end it- don’t leave it dangle so the person wonders why, or if you are really ending it. Also, even if it was just a casual thing- never, ever do this via text, phone or email. Just don’t.
Another vital part of the ending process is actually explaining why. Please, don’t even bother using, “It’s not you, it’s me”- that line has become the biggest joke around and nobody ever believes it. List your reasons. If it is in fact because someone simply started to get too many feelings, tell them that you are not ready to be in a relationship and you could tell that things were getting a bit too intense- and be prepared to stand your ground. Inevitably, if someone was getting too into you, they probably will either take one of two courses next. They’ll either claim they can pull back- they can’t, or they will backpedal. You probably did not misread the signs, so don’t allow either to sway you if you really do feel that it is simply not something you want to continue.
The way that you end a casual relationship should be short, sweet and to the point. Don’t allow yourself to be vague about it, either- they need to know exactly why you feel it cannot go on, and do not ever say that you were developing feelings and you are simply afraid. Sure, that’s a kind way initially- but it is usually the ultimate lead on, rather than the ending you want.
|Filed Under: Dating Tips|