Two Becomes One

The Fine Art of The Bar Ditch

Posted on October 8, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Mixing it up at dance clubs and bars is a great way to cut loose and have a good time, and occasionally, can be a great way to meet a potential date. But what do you do when Mr. Wrong is constantly sending you tequila sunrises and just won’t let up? There are right ways and there are wrong ways to ditch the zero man when approached by him at the bar and knowing what works will enable you to get away and potentially be able to find someone that does interest you. Or, perhaps just enable you to continue enjoying your night without feeling like you have to entertain someone you don’t find all that interesting.

Understanding that first of all, just because he’s bought you a few, doesn’t mean you owe him anything is key. You did not make him buy you the drinks and even if you did suggest it, you didn’t offer to bear his children or, well, even go home with him. You’re there to have a good time, and if you aren’t having a good time, you don’t have to just accept it. If a man is truly harassing you at a bar and making you feel uncomfortable, do not be afraid to alert the bar staff. You may not only prevent yourself from dealing with it, but you might prevent someone else from being hurt, as well.

If you have already figured out that he’s harmless and he’s just not getting your hints, the first thing is to stop accepting the drinks. It is not rude and if you are clear that you would prefer to remain fairly sober, it doesn’t have to be an awkward situation. At this point, most gentlemen will offer something nonalcoholic, and that’s fine. However, do remember that accepting this can keep you talking to someone you really aren’t into and thus keeping you from perhaps someone you do. Always remember there is nothing at all wrong with just not being that into someone. 

Use a wing woman. One of the best ways to deal with awkward bar situations is not having to deal with them in the first place. If you go, go with a friend. This also keeps you safe, but, gives you a fair and polite out if you need one, and trust me, you usually will. Having a friend with you who can run interference or perhaps even just make sure that you are comfortable with the situation is always an asset. This way, you both get to get out, have a great time and is generally a much safer option than going it alone, anyway. 

If all else fails, be gentle and firm, and let the guy know that you’re just here to mingle and you’d like to be moving on. Remember that you don’t know this man, and really, the nicest thing you can do is to cut him loose to find someone who may actually be interested.

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