Two Becomes One

The First Date

Posted on September 21, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Every guy knows that women place a fair amount of value on romance and adventure in a relationship.  Unfortunately, that is where the extent of many men’s knowledge on the subject ends.  Nothing will kill a potential relationship faster than the demonstration of dullness.  It is crucial, if you are serious about pursuing a relationship with someone, that you learn to be spontaneous, inventive and exciting.  Your first date is your chance to wow them with what a thoughtful and exciting guy you can really be.

Why Bother?

Many men view the first date as more or less of a trial run to see how things might go with a woman.  As such, there is a real temptation to be moderate on the first date.  From the male perspective, it’s an understandable but very flawed mindset.  You may think, “Why should I shell out a lot, or pull out all the stops for something that is vague and only speculative?”  However, be advised that your first impression is definitely being scrutinized.  You only get to make it once, and if you present yourself as dull and cheap, you may not get a chance to make a second impression.
This is not to say that you should be renting out the entire restaurant and hiring a string quartet for the first date.  In fact, overdoing it can set off just as many alarms as skimping.  For a first date, it is more important to demonstrate your abilities to be sociable, yet exciting.  Take her places that allow the two of you to spend time together, and also give you a chance to showcase some of your better qualities.  Leave yourself some room to pull out the big guns on subsequent dates, and do a good enough job on the first one to merit those follow ups.

What to avoid:

There are some settings that should be patently avoided for first dates.  Any scenario that is going to preclude one-on-one time or conversation should be left out.  The movies are fun, but they don’t give you and your date much of a chance to get to know one another.  Save the movies for later in the relationship and try to find someplace that allows you to spend time actually enjoying one another’s company.  Likewise, any very noisy and busy setting, such as a popular dance club, should probably be skipped on date number one.  If you are absolutely determined to go to such a place, make sure you have a quiet stop over for dinner first, or maybe plans for a secluded cup of coffee afterwards.

What to Look For:

When you are deciding where you might like to take your date there are two important things to think of:  her interests and your abilities.  If she likes to ice skate but you have the coordination of a tree sloth, then skating is best skipped.  However, if you both love and excel at miniature golf, then you may be on to a winning evening.  The bottom line is this – pick something she will enjoy and that will give you a chance to do a bit of manly showing off.  Just don’t get too cocky.  Remember, you’re looking for a second date.

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