Two Becomes One

Having a Great Time

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Two Becomes One

So, you’re on the date…now what?  Remind yourself that you are here to have fun.  Do your best to create a comfortable and relaxing environment for both yourself and your date.  Be relaxed and be yourself.  Be prepared to both talk and listen attentively.  Your date will tell you everything you need to know if you stay with the talker and listen word for word.  Do not judge.  Open your heart, mind and ears and hear what the person is actually saying, not what you want to hear. 

Make the most of the place you have picked whether it is a restaurant, movie or outside event. If you have chosen a restaurant as the locale for your first date, eat!  Everyone is more comfortable when they can actually enjoy their meal and eat what they would normally eat.  Do not order a side salad as your main course.  Order whatever sounds the most appetizing to you and eat it using your manners…use a fork, chew with your mouth closed, and make use of your napkin.  Be sure that you keep your drinking under control.  You don’t want to be slurring your words and telling your deepest, darkest secrets halfway through your date.

If you have chosen a movie or play, be open to discussing it afterwards.  If you attend a sporting event or outside event, you can relate to each other in the midst of the activity.  You are not necessarily the center of attention here so it is a bit easier to be relaxed and talk now and then, not continuously. Regardless of the activity you choose, don’t be afraid of silences.  Everyone worries about not having anything to say but it is completely unnecessary.  You already know everything you need to know about yourself so the idea is to get to know as much as possible about your date.  If you continue to ask questions regarding your date’s likes, preferences and lifestyle, you will never be at a loss for words.

Now, what about flirting and body language?  It is essential to be able to interpret body language in order to gauge how your date is reacting to you.  If your date is leaning forward, relaxing their posture, maintaining good eye contact, touching lightly and nodding, then those are all positive signs that your date is into you.  If your date is crossing their arms, nodding too frequently, putting their hands to their mouth or yawning, then they are probably not having a good time and are not all that interested.  Keep these aspects of body language in mind for yourself as well and contemplate what your body language is saying to your date.

When all is said and done, the end of the night is crucial!   How you end the date can determine whether or not you will date again and whether your date will get the message loud and clear.  If the date has gone well, you want the end of your first date to be the beginning of a wonderful relationship.  Conversely, if the date has not gone well, you want the end of the date to be the end! 

Assuming your date has been successful, you want to mention date number two before the end of date number one.  Ideally, you want to seal it with a kiss.  You can tell if a woman is interested in a kiss if she faces you, tilts her head upward, parts her lips slightly, and looks into your eyes.  If a guy is interested in ending the date with a kiss, he will position his body between you and the door, act nervous and yet show no signs of visibly ending the date, tilt his head upward, and lick his lips.  Read the signs and go for it.

On the other hand, if you are not exactly sure where you want this date to go, tell your date you had a good time but that you need a little time to sort things out because your head is spinning.  Thank them and end the date politely and give yourself a little bit of time to mull things over.  The day after the date, you may feel differently and will be in a better state to make an informed decision at that point.

If you had an absolutely terrible time and never want to see the person again, don’t say that you will call.  Although it is tempting to end the date on a positive note and spare your date’s feelings, saying you will call when you know you won’t only delays the inevitable and will likely lead to even more heartbreak.  Tell your date that you enjoyed meeting them but that you don’t think you are compatible based on your vastly differing lifestyles or goals.  Be considerate of their feelings but make it clear that you are not interested in dating them in the future.

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