Two Becomes One

How and why to have “The Talk”

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

How To Have “The Talk”

Being responsible sexually in this day and age has quite possibly never been more vital. More and more sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise, and there’s always that risk that something may happen. So, how do you open the talk with a new potential lover without it being awkward? The truth is, you probably won’t be able to- it’s going to be just a bit awkward, initially no matter how you slice it.  However, making sure that a few things are clear prior to the moment will enable this to go over much more smoothly.

Condoms Aren’t Just For Pregnancy Prevention

Many women play it risky thinking that either they wouldn’t mind having a baby, or perhaps they’ve either been through a procedure that renders them sterile, or perhaps because they are on hormonal birth control. This is greatly reflected in the huge gender imbalance in STD rates. Statistically speaking, according to the CDC, in a group of 100,000 people- 543 cases of chlamydia in women were reported, versus 190 men. For secondary stage syphilis, 9,886 women were diagnosed, versus 1,752 men. Of course these are curable sexually transmitted diseases, whereas HIV infection is the 5th leading cause of death for women ages 35-44, and 6th for women 25-34. There are many common misconceptions about HIV/AIDs transmission, but know this- high risk heterosexual contact accounts for 80 percent of all newly diagnosed cases.

Understanding that yes, it can happen to you and sometimes- it can also happen in tandem with a pregnancy is something that many teens are now finding themselves confronted with the harsh reality of. Teen pregnancy and STD transmission rates have been rising- nearly half of all new infections are people between the ages of 15 and 24.

How To Initiate the Talk

Just being frank is best. You know when the chemistry is getting to the point where you are starting to think about having sex with your new partner, and before you do- that’s when the talk needs to happen. There really is no reason to be afraid to have the talk, just get it out in the open in a frank, adult way. For either gender, insisting on a condom is absolutely the only way you can possibly protect yourself from transmission, apart from abstinence. If you aren’t insisting on a condom, you’re putting yourself at risk. The truth of the matter is, especially for women- women are often more symptomatic of most STDs than men are, in the case of HIV; some people don’t show any symptoms at all, so they never think to be tested. So, simply having your partner tell you that they are clean is not precaution enough. Part of your talk needs to include the fact that you do not risk yourself in having unprotected sex- sure, it may put some off, but do you really want to be with someone who is that casual about your safety and well being, anyway?

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