Two Becomes One

How To Talk, and Listen in a Relationship

Posted on October 7, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Being able to communicate effectively can make or break a relationship, and male or female, there are some very important factors in talking- and listening that you need to know. These are especially useful when arguing, but if you are able to implement these key things in your regular communication you will actually be able to avoid fights and bickering. Here are a few helpful communication tools that will make things go much better between you both.

Focus, and Listen

Make sure that you are making eye contact, or at least facing the person you are talking to. If you’re doing anything apart from driving, it is always a good idea to put it down, shut it off, or put it away- giving your partner the full attention that they deserve. If the timing isn’t right, or your partner happens to be making an unreasonable request for your attention at that moment- do not blow them off. If it isn’t a good time because of a television program, that’s blowing them off.

If it is something important, simply and respectfully make sure they know that you will have to talk about it with them another time. Being able to tactfully bow out when a talk starts to get heated is also good- do not be afraid to take a time out if one or both of you is getting overly emotional about the subject. 

Validate and Relate Your Partner

When you are talking to each other, it’s always important to make sure that your partner understands that YOU understand. Saying validating things or even just repeating what they say in the form of a question can often show that you are listening, and you’re getting what they say. Also, be sure that you are relating your partner and making sure that they understand you as well. It can often be beneficial to simply allow them to say their piece, and as they do, continue to relay back their point to them, asking questions until they are finished. Then, express your own point of views. When you are expressing them, be concise and stick to whatever issue it is you have, try not to be on the defensive. Openly discussing how you feel, without doing so in a heated manner is generally best.

Being able to effectively communicate in a relationship is a great deal of the work involved in maintaining a healthy one and being able to last. They say that relationships require alot of work and effort, but the truth is, you can spare yourself most of that by simply learning to listen and communicate in an appropriate, healthy way. Seeking out time to just sit down and talk with one another, even if it isn’t about anything serious can mean the difference between growing and stagnating and also, helps you to both be better able to relate to one another as time goes on.

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