Two Becomes One

Moving In Together

Posted on September 21, 2009 by Two Becomes One

The choice to cohabitate is one that can be made much easier with careful planning and preparation. Being sure to take some steps before you begin to move into each other’s lives in this very big step is a very important part of the process, and sadly, one that not everyone really takes as seriously as they should. There are many choices that will follow that initial decision to move in, and plans that should be already made and acted on prior to doing so.

Where Will You Live?

For some, the answer is to move into one partner’s already existing home. This is actually not a very sound idea- however financially stable it may seem. Turning the bachelor pad of either gender into a love nest is a hard thing to do, as places tend to hold a psychological imprint of what they were used for. Seeking out a place together is always the better option.
Another big mistake often made in this vein is moving a partner in when you already have roommates or friends living with you. While this can sometimes work out to benefit everyone, it often leads to alot of headaches you can avoid rather easily by just opting to find a place for just the two of you.

How Will Bills Be Managed?

Looking at the financial aspects of things just as you would with any other roommate is a very wise thing to do prior to moving in together. Being sure that the boundaries are clear, the expectations are obvious and open is the key to making this work. You have to decide if this is going to be a two earner household or if you plan to have one staying at home while the other works- just as if you were getting married. Making sure that those ground rules are set and clear is just as important as the choices you make in moving in with one another, and this is not an area you want to be vague or play it by ear with. A great deal of resentment can stem from money and most who have failed at cohabitation will tell you that money has always been one of the biggest bones of contentions. Having a plan made before the move is always, always vital to this being a successful, happy move.

What Other Commitments Does This Entail?

We have all heard the rhyme. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby- well, whoah, slow down! You’d think this would be a given, but sadly it isn’t. Often, one partner may have much higher expectations of this move than the other. Moving in together is like marriage- but it isn’t. Making sure that you’re both fully aware of where this is, where it is going and that this isn’t making some unspoken promise can prevent misunderstandings that would otherwise change both of your lives permanently. Be sure everyone knows where they stand and just exactly what this move means.

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