Two Becomes One

Online Affairs

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Online Affair or Overreaction?

Of course everyone knows what an affair is. That illicit romance where two people meet up furtively in hotels, perhaps schedule a rendezvous on a work trip? Wrong! Sure that can be an affair but also, did you know that some consider your online activity to be cheating? Knowing that, are you starting to wonder about that wonderful person you just met and how you might be able to tell if they are in fact, just using you for an online affair? Well, read on, we have some tips and tricks to help you to find out if you are tap dancing a little too close to the line.

Obvious Questions

The first question that usually comes to mind is- would you want your partner to read your messages and emails? If your answer is no, you may have a bit of a problem here. Sure, this can seem like harmless fun but what happens if your partner somehow does get a glimpse of Saturday night’s little chat? Turn it around and ask yourself how you would feel were you to stumble on to a conversation in a similar vein from the other side. Would you feel comfortable with your partner chatting someone up in the same way?

Secondly, if you have been sending your online sweetie some pretty racey photos, or swapping them back and forth- you should probably just stop kidding yourself right now. Just because it is online does not make it harmless and it doesn’t make it any less hurtful.

Thirdly and the most tell tale sign here is directly related to your partner. If you find that you are becoming more and more resentful of your partner, irrate with them more often, less inclined to have sex with them or even comparing them with this online person- you have a problem. It does not really have to get to this level, but usually it does. One person begins to really build up the online sweetie in their head a bit more than their own partner- because they aren’t dealing with the full on reality of that person, just yet.

An online relationship may seem like a fun, flirty and ultimately harmless thing, until it isn’t. These things usually get pretty intense, pretty fast- much more so due to the ability to communicate in a much deeper level. The problem usually lies in the fact that you are not around this online sweetie- neither of you know if the you you present is the real you and, as a result you may end up causing a serious problem within your real relationship that you can’t fix. Before you decide that perhaps indulging in a little online romance is the thing to do, you may want to consider that it is not in fact the harmless fun that many people think that it is. To the person who may one day read those conversations, it is certainly not.

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