Two Becomes One

Reconnecting with your Parnter

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Reconnecting with Your Partner

Yes, this is important. Every relationship gets to a point where both partners are sort of complacent and comfortable. But while the intimacy level is great and the comfort is good, this can also lead to a sort of plateauing which leaves both wondering if this is as good as it gets, or can it get better. Boredom in a relationship is certainly a bad thing, but emotional boredom is something that can sometimes be even worse. Making sure that you are not only staying connected with eachother, but being able to have a reconnect from time to time may be one way to avoid situations where boredom causes a big mistake.

Make sure that you have some time to spend alone with eachother each week, or, if you can, each day. Even a ten minute time alone together is good, and will enable you two to really feel a sense of it just being the two of you again. However, avoid the issues that may come from the awkward silence and also avoid arguments or talking about anything like children, chores or work at this time. Try to make it a time where you talk about things that are important to eachother, causes or things that perhaps you found interesting.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

If your partner is trying to talk to you and you can do so, drop what you are doing. Make sure that you are able to really listen to what they have to say and if you aren’t, try to respectfully ask to talk about it another time. Examples of things that are NOT okay to blow your partner off: television shows, reading, the internet or ballgames. Things that are would be work, important phone conversations or other things that just cannot be avoided. Make sure that if you are telling your partner it has to wait for another time, your reasons are something you yourself wouldn’t mind being blown off for if it were you. A good rule of thumb is, unless it is more important than your marriage or impacts your lives, then it is likely okay to put aside for an important discussion with your partner. When you are talking to one another, be affirming and listen. Remember to listen to one another without interrupting, and make sure that you are clear on what they are saying. Phrase your questions so that they are also respectful- and no, “What’s your problem?” is not an okay way to ask. Avoid abusive language or threats, and the silent treatment at all costs. Also, make sure that if things do get heated, at least one of you decides that a time out is needed. Even if it isn’t you that is getting angry or upset enough to make the discussion not really one that is constructive, try phrasing it diplomatically, “I think maybe we should take a step back for a few minutes, I don’t want anything said that could be regrettable or hurt someone” is always a good one.

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