Two Becomes One

Setting Your First Date

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Two Becomes One

When you are emailed a potential match, the ball is then in your court which can be somewhat intimidating.  Just remember, the nice thing about an initial introduction is that it is just a date.  It is an opportunity, a place, and a time for one person to get to know another person.  The key is to be confident, remain calm, be willing to improvise, and believe whole-heartedly that you are worth getting to know and that you deserve a meaningful and rewarding relationship.

The first step is to call the other person in order to arrange a date.  Relax a bit and don’t get yourself too nervous before you’ve even gone out on a date.  During your first conversation, keep things short and casual.  Introduce yourself and always offer options about the date.  These options should include a couple of different days, times, activities and transportation methods.  A plan with several distinct possibilities offers a better chance of success.  This way, your date has the ability to choose the particular day and time that is most convenient and has a couple of options to select from so they are comfortable with the setting for the first date.

In terms of picking the place for your first date, there are certainly some key factors to keep in mind.  First of all, be sure to pick a place that you enjoy.  This ensures that at least one person will be comfortable in that setting and it gives some insight into who you are and what you like.  Secondly, do not pick an activity that can’t be easily afforded by all.  The last thing you want to do is worry all night about how you are paying for the evening or make your date nervous that they will be expected to chip in for something they can’t afford.  Third, select a location that is easy to get to and one where it is easy for you to talk without getting thrown out or drowned out by the surrounding noise.

While it is nice for a date to be exciting, leave some time to talk and get to know each other.  A date that is full of activity keeps you busy but also keeps you from talking which is the primary means of getting to know each other.  Lastly, select an activity that lasts only a couple of hours.  That way, if either one of you is definitely not interested, the meeting is only brief and if both of you are fully-enthralled with each other, this will leave you wanting more which is the essence of a great date.

A few ideas for good first dates are as follows:

1. Museums – a great place to casually get to know each other while wandering the halls looking at exhibits
2. Walks – walks can be combined with many other date activities such as dinner, lunch, an outdoor picnic, the movies and more.  You can take walks almost anywhere and it is a relaxing way to chat.
3. Street fairs – great outdoor activity where plenty of other people are around, nothing is too expensive, and there are lots of things to talk about
4. Outdoor activities – any outdoor activity including sporting events, zoos, county or state fairs, amusement parks, and concerts are ideal settings for a first date.  You can talk easily because you are outside¸ everything feels more relaxed, plenty of other people are around, and you can dress casually and comfortably.
5. Movies or a play – while many people go to the movies on their first date, this can be tricky because you want to talk to get to know one another but you are not allowed to talk in the movie theater.  Thus, if you choose a movie, make sure you also have plans for coffee or a drink afterwards so you get a chance to know each other and, of course, you can talk about the movie or play.
6. Dinner – while going out to eat is the most common first date activity, it does not have to be routine.  You can put a personal spin on the restaurant idea by picking a restaurant that you are familiar with because familiarity portrays confidence.  Similarly, you can pick an interesting and unique restaurant with a particular theme and nightly entertainment.  Conversely, a coffeehouse is always a great date location because the atmosphere is relaxed and casual which are key ingredients to a successful first date.

Of course, there are various other locations for an ideal first date.  The few listed above are simply a starting place.

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