Two Becomes One

Surviving the Breakup

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Getting Over It

Everyone’s been there, the sad state of affairs when a relationship has just run its course, or perhaps something happened and the break up was bad- either way, you find yourself where many have been, are or will be. Trying to get over a break up. It is never really that easy, but there are quite a few ways to soothe the pain, heal and be able to move on with your life.

Don’ts

Rebounding:
The rebound relationship or even a casual one, usually does not work. It is the knee jerk response to try to make yourself feel better or less lonely, but this usually ends pretty badly. Take your time, heal and then move on one day, but not right away.

Dwelling on it:
Of course you are going to think about all of this- but don’t feel that you are somehow a failure. Admitting that you made some mistakes is good, but don’t feel that you are a bad person or somehow meant to be alone- that’s probably not true. Try not to sit and stew over all the good things, either. Think about why this fell apart and make sure you are looking at things realistically, but not every second of your day.

Beg Them To Come Back:
If you have contacted and not been called, texted or emailed back- resist the urge to keep trying. Don’t beg them to come back, it is simply not worth that. If the break up was something resolvable- then both parties have to feel that it is, not just one, and if you aren’t hearing from them the chances are good they do not feel that it could be fixed.

Do’s

Spend Time With Family and Friends:
Keeping a strong support network to not only have people to talk to, but to spend time doing things with is vital. Failing that you may need to seek out some form of counseling or therapy, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Get a Hobby:
Finding a new, healthy way of distracting yourself can really not only take your mind off of things but make you feel better about yourself, as well. Picking up a new hobby, spending time doing something you haven’t tried before or even just seeing some new places can always be a big spirit booster.

Build Yourself Back Up:
Most importantly during this time, find things that make you feel good about just being you. As time goes on, the hurt will fade and you will feel better. There are many things that you can get into, such as volunteer causes and other charities that will enable you to build yourself back up in a way you can be proud of.

No, it never really is easy to deal with a breakup, however, if you are able to clear your head a bit and heal, you will find that down the line, a new relationship comes much easier. Making sure that you are over the ex is always best before moving on.

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