Two Becomes One

Taken Lovers

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Two Becomes One

The Married Man/Woman

At some point or another, the issue may come up for some- do you or do you not go after that married or partnered person? If they are also showing signs that they are into you, this can be made a little harder, but the truth of the matter is dating someone who is already involved with another person in a monogamous relationship is never a very good idea. Everyone who has done it has had that hope and expectation that it would work out, but it rarely ever does and thinking you’ll be the rare exception is usually setting yourself up for a fall.

Unhappy Relationship?

The most common excuse that we have seen for a cheater is that the relationship is unhappy but they cannot leave. Usually, this is due to “the children” but in reality, all it is, is an excuse. Sure, there’s obviously something not quite right in the relationship if they are seeking others but if you’re in the market for something serious you have to ask yourself, is this their solution to the problems? Generally, a cheater will throw out a bunch of excuses as to how hard they tried or how it just didn’t work but the truth of the matter is: they are still there. The best question that you can ask yourself, apart from wondering if this is the way that they solve problems, is also- do you think they would do this to you? Do you find yourself unable to answer that? There’s a reason. You can’t. If you feel that for sure they would never, ever cheat on you- then you’ve probably got a small issue with the reality of the situation. No, the old adage of ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ is not true- however, being able to figure out just why they chose this rather than simply leaving a situation that is no good for them is key. Another still yet is the mental stability of the spouse or partner- because, you know, catching your partner cheating is so much easier on a fragile emotional state than simply having it end, right?

They’re Going to Leave

This is the other one- ask anyone who has ever been involved with a married or partnered person for a long amount of time and they have likely heard at some point, “I’m going to leave, I just need to…” Insert whatever excuse they have, whatever thing needs straightening so they can leave. Ask them again, if it ever happened. Usually, the answer is no. Some who have been in very long term affairs will buy this one for years before they wise up, some never do. We have heard countless stories of affairs that have gone on for even up to a decade or more and the lover always believes that one day, there will be a split. If the person has been able to do this for this long without leaving, why is there still hope? We don’t know, it’s beyond us, too.

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