Two Becomes One

The Whiner

Posted on September 21, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Everybody knows the whiner.  There is at least one in every group.  They are never satisfied, life is always on the verge of becoming an utter tragedy for them and they are almost always single.  Chances are if you can’t identify the whiner in your social circle it is you.  Sadly, if you are trying the “whine it into being” approach to finding a partner, you have already set yourself up for failure.  One of the key aspects of attracting a romantic interest is… well, it’s actually being attractive, really.Chances are if you find yourself whining about being alone then you aren’t one of the lucky few who was born with looks, charisma and the ability to land the hottie of their dreams with nothing but a nod and a smile.  It’s alright.  Believe it or not, most people don’t fall into that category.  However, there are things you can do to improve your appeal.

Confidence is Sexy

In fact, confidence is not only sexy it is a miracle elixir of beauty.  Confidence is the difference between the ugly duckling and the swan.  When you are secure and confident in yourself you present an air of attractiveness and positive energy that can completely transform your appearance.  People respond to confidence on a fundamental level.  We all want to like ourselves and to surround ourselves with confident and positive people in our lives.If you present an air of quiet (or not so quiet) desperation, then you tell the world that you don’t think very highly of yourself or expect much from your life.  If  you feel that way about yourself, then how can you expect others to see you differently?  When you complain about the travesty  and unfairness of life and present a “poor me” exterior, then you can only ever hope to have others pity you as a hopeless loser.  On the other hand, if you present yourself as confident and comfortable in your own skin then people will assume that you have a lot going for you.

Building Confidence

If you feel that you need to improve on your presentation, but are unsure how, there are some key steps you can take.  Start small and work on your appearance.  There is a reason that method acting is such a popular form of acting and a reason why AA works to cure alcoholism.  It’s all about presenting yourself as you would like to be, and then working on becoming it.  If you present yourself as a depressed slob then that’s probably all you will ever be.  If you make the effort to dress for the part, then you’ll find you slowly begin to shift your perspective and believe in yourself as such.
Once you’ve tackled dress and hygiene you can move on to the bigger issues.  Think of the people you most admire and that others seem drawn too.  Analyze what it is that draws you to them and find ways to mimic those behavioral patterns.  In time you will see yourself slowly transform into someone that you can admire yourself.  Others will quickly follow.

If you are dissatisfied with who you are, whining about your misfortune or accepting it as your fate in life is self-defeating.  No one worthwhile is going to look at you and fall in love with you out of pity.  If you take steps to improve yourself and become someone that you can love, then you can expect others to respond to that.  So stop whining, and start taking control.  You’ll be glad you did.

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