Two Becomes One

So, Why Did It End

Posted on September 21, 2009 by Two Becomes One

Dating after a break up can be a bit on the tricky side, if you try too soon, you may not be ready, wait too long, you may not be sure how to really get back into the game right away. At some point, you’re going to get the question of “Why did it End”- we asked a few singles some of the big turn off’s when dating the divorced as to the answer to that question.

Be Honest, But Watch the Too Much Information

Being honest about your marital or post marital status is important, and of course is is okay to be honest about why things did not work out. However, sometimes you can pare down: “Well he cheated on me once and after that I had such heavy trust issues that I just couldn’t stop checking his cell phone, email and calling him all hours. Eventually, he left me because he just couldn’t deal with the responsibility of his actions”- alright, stop right there.

You know how you can turn “He/She cheated” into an honest answer without throwing an emotional dumptruck at someone’s head?

“He/She Cheated”- I know! Amazing, isn’t it? And, in that you don’t have to go into how you made some mistakes in an emotionally volatile time. Leave it. At some point, if you continue to date, it may come up.  Usually, this will prompt more talking, but honestly, during the initial dating period, expressing that you’ve healed and you just want to move on is probably best.

Another one we’ve personally heard was, “She just kept at me, all the time, nag, nag,and man, I just wanted to relax, unwind and play some video games, but all the time, she was suffocating me!” Whoa, there cowboy, how about, “We just wanted different things”? Trust me, the way you relay how the break up happened shows more about you than it does them. The person you are dating isn’t dating your ex and though yes, those serious relationships have a great deal to do with who we have become- during those critical initial dates, unloading a massive amount of your past history can be intimidating. Okay, that may have been a bit nicer than it should have been- don’t rant about your ex. Keep it really simple, as calm as you can and just boil it right on down to the basics.

These may seem like really out there ways of explaining a breakup, but we heard some really lengthy, sometimes incredibly shocking break up tales told to new dates- sometimes, on the first date. Remember, when you’re asked the question, the old adage about keeping it simple applies. If you feel an epic tale coming on, squash it down, go home and blog it out, but don’t start giving your entire relationship history to someone you’re not yet serious with. Who cares what they think of your ex, you want them to think well of you.

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